Tuesday, April 27, 2010

You know you're worried when.....

This morning I took my caboose to the doctor. The circumstances surrounding this visit are a few levels below desirable. To be perfectly honest the only way I can explain the general fog in which my mind is consumed or diluted is to admit that I'm consumed with worry but am still in the denial stages of simply telling myself and others that God is in control and everything is going to be fine separating from the anxiety without really dealing with it.

Some hours later today I picked up the two middle boys, Charles and Oliver, from school and then went to Costco to pick up a prescription for the aforementioned caboose and to get some passport photos.

I walked into Costco and made a beeline for the pharmacy only to discover that if there is only a single attendant in the pharmacy, that person takes a lunch break for a period of 30 minutes sometime between the hours of 11:30 and 2:30 shutting down the entire department. This was irritating since I wanted to hurry. But I decided that surely getting the passport photos would kill some time and we could wander a bit in the book section.

I went to the photo counter, stated my need, and then was directed as to where to position myself, to look ahead without smiling and the helpful attendant snapped the photo and declared it good enough. She then questioned me as to whether I desired more than 2 photos. I responded that I wanted as many as are necessary in procuring one's passport and she confirmed that 2 was the correct number. She then walked back around the counter so as to be situated behind the counter near the register, and she anticipated that I, too, would walk around the counter on the outside by the register. I turned, took the hands of both boys and simply walked away having forgotten entirely that I did anything having to do with photography or passports. The only thing in my mind was needing to get to the pharmacy department, hoping the attendant had returned, and wondering if the caboose was still asleep in "her" chair with the sitter, or was she awake, crying and wanting me. In fact, it never entered my mind again until another store and 30 minutes later when Jon called on my cell and asked if I had gotten my photos. It took a minute for the brain webs to clear from my cob but as the haze came into focus I realized that I had come very close to accomplishing this feat and would now have to go back to the counter and try again. But I needed to get back home so it would have to wait until tomorrow.

I believe that when I go back to the photography counter and attempt to explain my act of lunacy the word that will best describe me will be.....sheepish.